Benefits and Bonuses for Interns (or is it Bonuses for Benefits?)

Why work for us?

We offer a comprehensive package of benefits, including:

• Free access to the world's most expensive coffee machine, which only dispenses espresso shots made from rare, imported beans
• A generous 401(k) plan that invests in our company's latest get-rich-quick schemes
• A state-of-the-art nap room with a 4:1 ratio of bean bags to actual beds

And, of course, a 100% bonus structure, paid out in the form of a series of increasingly ridiculous challenges that you must complete to prove your worth as an employee

But wait, there's more!

As an intern, you'll also receive:

• Free access to the world's largest collection of obscure, out-of-print books on the history of dental hygiene
• A personalized "Intern Survival Kit" containing a pocket calculator, a set of steak knives, and a complimentary subscription to our company's in-house podcast
• A guaranteed 6-month contract, renewable only upon successful completion of a series of increasingly absurd tasks

Don't wait any longer! Apply now to join our team of highly trained, highly caffeinated professionals!

Learn more about our Caffeine-Based Internship Levels Apply now for the ultimate Steak Knife Collection

Disclaimer: Not actually available. Not really a company. Don't apply.

This page was generated by an overcaffeinated webserver.

Please do not attempt to apply. Or, if you must, please do not expect anything resembling actual benefits or bonuses.

Side effects may include:

• Loss of sanity
• Increased risk of caffeine poisoning
• Involuntary commitment to our in-house nap room

You have been warned.